Shell, Shell oh Shell……..
The Shell Recruitment day was fun.
I had never experienced a more practical interview system. I bonded with one of
the candidates and we are still friends till today, her name is Seun, interesting girl. I saved money on
accommodation too, thanks to my friend from way back (chemical engineering
family), Emiola. She hosted us. The interview was in stages, a case study, a
group discussion, and a one on one interview. I remember one of the questions
still, like it was yesterday – “You are sitting in for the managing director of
a company, he has left you a hand over note, a crisis with the villagers where
you operate, a staff issue (can’t really remember) and something else with a
supplier, how would you address the issues, what would be your priority?”. This
is not quite word for word, but it was something like that. Then we had a
negotiation where we had to do role plays of three communities presenting their
community’s project for approval to be the CSR direction for the year. I felt
at home, this was like being in class back in LBS. At the end, they refunded
our flight fares (using old rates!!) and told us they would get back to us.
I got back to the hotel to find my
baby ill. He probably reacted to the water or change of environment, but at the
time I was scared to bits! As much as my friend and sister tried to calm me
down, I still couldn’t get myself to relax. I stayed up all night, crying and
calling every doctor I knew. I couldn’t get any of the prescriptions they
recommended (Oral re-hydration therapy mixes, mainly), because it was late
already (Port Harcourt shuts down early) and the next day was a public holiday.
I almost went mad, he must have passed stool about a fifty times, no kidding! I
counted the minutes and the hours to my flight back and headed straight to the
doctor from the airport. Babies can make you look like a liar sometimes, because
by the time we got to the hospital, this young man that was looking like he was
about to cross over to the other side, was now all bubbly and stable, imagine!
My sister so made fun of me ehn, after all the stress I put her and Emiola
through.
While waiting for my Shell
response, I got an offer with Dangote as a business analyst with the new Cement
Chief Executive Officer, Tony Hadley. I had barely spent a month there when I
got a mail informing me that I was successful! *Screaming*!!!!!!! I was asked
to come in for my medicals and I did. I got a call from their HR rep asking me
if I wanted supply chain management and I said that was fine. I wanted to go
back to the department where I interned but I wasn’t fussed about that. Shell
is Shell, wherever. Another HR rep now calls shortly after to say they wanted
me at the department where I was before and would like to have an informal chat
with me, she said don’t worry, it’s just protocol, to get to know you, you’re
in already.
I had to find a way to escape from
the office that day. I expressed my concerns about timing, since I was working
somewhere already and didn’t want to disappear for too long. I was assured that
it wasn’t anything serious. My people, lo and behold, I get there and I am
ushered into a room with three men sitting across the table. I can still
picture their faces. Two fone speaking Nigerians (fone being pidgin for foreign
accents) and a Caucasian, think he was Russian or something. I was distressed
already because this wasn’t what I was expecting; besides I had to rush back to
the office before it was obvious I had disappeared. Of course the friendly chat
didn’t go well. I knew I wouldn’t be recommended for the commercial group but
still had hopes of getting in to SCM; at least this was just protocol they
said. Awon oniro buruku (Liars, simply put).
There was silence, a long
deafening silence. I mailed the rep I had been following up with and she said
she had been reassigned. What!! She referred me to someone else who referred me
to someone else and that was how the wild goose chase began. I called Nick,
German and Beth, everyone I knew there. German had even assumed I had resumed
and was settling in. Then they send me a mail saying I was being retained in
their pool and would be posted to a department as soon as there was an opening.
A year later (Yes o! a whole year), I get an email saying my records in the
pool had expired and so I should re-apply.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this was how
Shell never was! Till today, my mum still can’t get over it. We were
practically already spending Shell money. At every opportunity she says in ondo “Do baa
shey fofi wo ti wi shell beyi, wo bati ra moto wuen”. Let me help you translate
before you crack your head, “If only you were in Shell now, you would have
bought a new car”. I feel her pain, but sometimes I just need her to stop, it
drives me crazy. This is by far one of the worst disappointments in my life,
ever! I didn’t cry then, but years later, I was having a bad day and I stumbled
on one of the email exchanges we had, I broke down and wept a bucket (I can cry
oo, leave that one!)…….. I have moved on, but I must get filthy rich so I can
hunt those three men down as well as the HR Rep and spit in their faces!! Call
it whatever you like, I don’t care.
Cry me a river
Life Skills Learnt
No matter what life throws at you, you have to
pick yourself up and keep moving, don’t you ever stop!
2013…….12 June, 2013
No ccHub again today, I had market
runs, I can hear some people say as usual! Hehe. It comes with my job. Of
course that is why you are just seeing this post today, because I got home and
passed out right after homework. Old age is setting in, I never used to get
this tired before and I didn’t even have a car. I think I need to start taking
supplements, Yuk! I hate drugs.
Entrepreneur Tips
Of course you can’t be expecting anything here
now! Not today (yesterday, technically, but you know now). I can’t kill myself.
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